Ask Nick Anything
If you are having dating trouble and need some solid advice…feel free to hit me up! I’m here for YOU!! The link to my Facebook page is below and I will always keep your identity anonymous. You can ask me anything you want, even if it’s not just advice, maybe you want to know something more about me! Ask away and I’ll be glad to answer!
Q: Why the f**k are guys do difficult!?! He tells me he doesn’t see me as anything other than a friend. So, I hit on him to make him uncomfortable because let’s be honest it’s fun! But then when signs start pointing that he maybe interested I get all confused! Wth man! I’m thinking just being abstinent for next year to solve the problem what do you think?
A: Sounds like you’re hanging on to a dream that’s never going to come true. If he says he doesn’t see you as any more than a friend then you’ll never be more than that. If he’s single, you may be able to coax him into something intimate but don’t expect that to change his feelings about a relationship.
As for abstinence…it’s not going to solve your problems but it may change you in ways you could never imagine. If it’s a challenge you think you can handle, go for it, but it’s not going to solve your problem.
Stop thinking so much about it and you’ll stop being confused. Usually, things have easy solutions, it’s all of our assumptions and creative ideas that get in the way. Men aren’t difficult, we’re easy; women just complicate things.
Q: I have been with someone for 11 years, we were separated for 2 years and have 4 kids together. I was abused mentally and physically and I decided to leave him for 2 yrs..he then came back to me saying he has changed and he would be a better person if I would just give him a second chance..so I did..and now he has been locked up twice because he wasn’t obeying his probation..and he is in prison now..he is suppose to be in until 2017 but he may get out in August….my question is should I keep trying or call it quits already?
A: I think it depends on how much more of this weight you want to carry. If you think you have enough strength to try and keep it going with him to give it another shot; that’s on you but remember the old saying, “Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”
I’d say call it quits but I know you’re still going to have to talk to him and be cordial. Considering you share 4 kids together…you’re always going to be connected, no matter what. Find a way to be his friend, forgive him and try to find that part of him that you love about him and focus on it. Talk to him but make it clear that it’s over, romantically. This will free you up emotionally to enjoy the day a little more without fear of “how he’s going to feel” because of your choices and might even open up the opportunity to find someone else to be in a relationship with. I think honesty and communication and sobriety are the three most important factors to this situation of yours.
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