Facebook Updates That Never Fail To Be Completely Obnoxious

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(Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

(Photo Credit: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

You know the best way to stop being annoyed by people on Facebook?  Stop using Facebook.

Just kidding.  We understand it’s not humanly possible to quit Facebook.  So now . . . BACK TO COMPLAINING.

We’ve got a new list here of the nine most obnoxious things people post on Facebook.

It doesn’t include photos or links or videos, just status updates and wall posts.  Check ‘em out . . . Which one do you hate the most?

1.  The “I’m living the life” brag.  Example:  “Guess who just got promoted!” or “Off to Hawaii!”

2.  The disguised brag.  Example:  “Walking home from work three different guys whistled at me and two others made comments about my cleavage.  Sometimes I really hate men.”  Also known as a ‘humblebrag’.

3.  Relationship updates.  Example:  “Tough day at work and I came home to a candlelight dinner.  I am the luckiest girl in the world.”

4.  The cryptic cliffhanger.  Example:  “This could be a biggggggggg day . . .”

5.  The update that LITERALLY describes what you’re doing that day . . . and it’s not even interesting.  Example:  “Off to the gym, then dinner and watching TV.”

6.  The public-private message.  Example:  “I miss you, when can we hang out?”

7.  The out-of-nowhere Oscar speech.  Example:  “I just want to thank everyone who’s touched my life.  Your support means everything and I wouldn’t have gotten through the past year without you.”

8.  The incredibly obvious opinion about a big event.  Example:  “Thinking about all the people affected by the recent tragedy.  So heartbreaking.”

9.  Unsolicited spiritual wisdom.  Example:  “‘Peace comes from within.  Do not seek it without.’ -Buddha.”

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