Breakup Revenge: Satisfying Yet Crazy

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(Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Stagecoach)

(Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for Stagecoach)

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I’ve dated a few crazy guys in my past and our breakups weren’t always positive. I’ve always wanted to be that girl who takes a baseball bat to his truck windshield or throws all of his belongings in the dumpster or spread an awful rumor about STD’s he may have contracted.

I’ve never done any of these things because the moment I start thinking about it, I tell myself that I seem crazy. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing how upset I am or really prove that I am crazy and he shouldn’t be with me.

Taking the high road really does show your ex what he’s actually missing out on.

Here are a few reasons why you will regret any revenge you seek:

1) It might just make your ex feel justified for whatever he did.

Because now he can act like you’re the crazy one. Ugh.

2) For that matter, it really does say something about your ability to handle a crisis.

I’m not calling you crazy, but…I’m not calling you mature and well-adjusted either.

3) It will become a part of your history too.

Do you really want one of your Google results to be “Ex-Girlfriend Superglues Man’s Penis To His Barca Lounger To Punish Him For Laziness”? It’s not so beneficial for your future career prospects, I’d guess.

4) It makes you seem “undateable” to other people.

Norah Ephron once said “Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from,” and you don’t want to be that guy (or girl). No matter how bad the previous situation, it’s going to make people question how you’ll behave in the next breakup.

5) Consequences might be way higher than you intend.

Maybe you really believe he deserves some humiliation, but some crazy revenge schemes can go way further than you might have intended. People can get injured, or lose their jobs over personal situations, or worse. You might think what you’re doing is basically harmless (or be too mad right now to care) but if it really causes damage, you’ll eventually regret it.

6) You could hurt other people.

Speaking of the consequences you might not intend, you probably won’t just hurt your ex. For example, in the Craigslist ad example, the kids of that ex-couple in the Craigslist ad. Ouch, do they really need to have their parents’ disintegrating marriage memorialized on the Internet?

7) It sets you up for personal failure.

Yes, after a breakup, you might need to spend some time being furious. That’s fine and can help you move on. But if you concentrate all your energies on hate instead of healing, you’re going to become a person you don’t like very much.

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